I wrote yesterday’s email for our 31 Day May Subtraction Project (you can still sign up here and pick up where we are) and it was about subtracting the hurry. The truth is I could swap out the word hurry for the “whelm” and it would have been speaking more directly to the lady in the mirror.

I mentioned in a post about Defining Success as a Mom that part of my purpose in being a Mom is to learn with and from my kids. As I was preparing to write this post throughout the day today they were doing a REALLY good job of teaching me. Lexi & Braeden are excellent sayers of the word “No” in fact it is the only word that Braeden consistently can call to his mind, it is accompanied by a fervent head shake and it’s unmovable. If Braeden has set his mind to NO it’s a firm no. Even when I can convince him that shaking his head Yes and saying yyyyyyyessssss is very fun he’s still very firm on the action of NO. I need to be more like my kids!

Somewhere along the way I thought that the answer should and could always be YES! I’ll sleep less, I’ll move faster, I’ll juggle, I’ll reprioritize, I’ll do anything to say more YES and while YES is beautiful and fun there is an equally beautiful and dare I say empowering word and that word is NO!

The awakened moment: I was loading the dishwasher before dinner and Braeden came over and said “no no no” and took my hand and we went to play legos. I started building and he said “no no no” and took it all a part. I started putting blocks into the lego wagon and he said “no no no” and took them out. He then got in the wagon (it’s a tight fit but doable) and clapped for himself. And I felt that burning feeling when your eyes are being saturated with tears because all his No’s got him exactly where he wanted. What if I need to be saying some No’s to get to where I want to go? 

I asked the amazing ladies in our community on Facebook their two cents on saying no and got some great answers – I’d love for you to chime in too! 

  • Ginevra has such an elegant and thoughtful way of saying no. “There is no way that I would be able to give you what you want or deserve right now. If that changes, you’ll be the first to know.
  • Theresa gives great advice in setting up a firm boundary so then the No’s are easier. I SO NEED TO DO THIS. In fact it’s going to be my first No – I can’t take meetings outside of my office on Tuesday’s – I need to be at my desk and in my zone all day long and the distraction of leaving my office is to detrimental.
  • Loran affirmed that No is a complete sentence and YES thank you for this reminder. Sometimes I feel like I owe people the Yes and because of that I get hung up in the excuses, I try to judge my own excuse/reasoning to a place where my guilt gets triggered. If I can keep it to a simple No there’s less room for me talk myself out of it.

My Mom issued me a challenge (she’s VERY smart) to say No to six things…she suggested that I do that tonight (she’s also ambitious) and that made me want to have a panic attack but I’m committed to No’ing 6 things this week.  Tell me – what’s the first thing you’re going to No.

 

I was worried earlier this week about not being able to write another post that matters?  You all made it my most popular post EVER and the irony is not lost on me. When you show up, when you’re vulnerable, you can be truly seen and while for a moment you have an Emperor’s New
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