I had another session with my mastermind group last week and we were talking about the next journey of talking to my intuition and it was clear it was time to talk to my self about my weight.
Weight. It’s such a heavy conversation.
I think I’ve been happy with my weight for about 35 days of my entire adult life…maybe 40. That’s not a lot of days and I’ll be straight..I was happy and hungry for most of those days. So my intuition told me: I had to decide if I was going to spend more of my days happy or unhappy about my weight. And I choose happy. Happy for where I am today. Happy for the direction momentum can carry me in. Happy because it’s better than unhappy.
For all the days I felt shame. For all the days I didn’t live it to my fullest. For all the times I ducked out of the picture. I wasn’t better for it. I should not be here…I have thought that thought so many times. I know better. I have resources available to me. I am seriously VERY good at ordering things from BeachBody. And yet, I am where I am and my state of mind isn’t better for being low about that. When I laid all of that out there for my intuition to process I responded in writing with “You’ll get there when you get there. The timing couldn’t be better!”
One of the things I found myself saying was “I want to feel like me again” and when I wrote that down the pen kind of flew on the page and responded with “this has nothing to do with the tag on your jeans…you want to feel like you? Act like you…or any version of you you’d like to see be a reality. One day, you’re not going to hop on the scale see a magical number and suddenly feel like you again….that you is gone and it has nothing to do with the number on the scale. What’s next is your call but start to feel that way today any way you can.”
I don’t know exactly where I go from here with this. I don’t know that I want to share some weight loss journey because I don’t have any idea what that journey looks like. But I am sharing because maybe you’ve been feeling similar things and maybe a chat with your own intuition would make you feel better. Maybe you can be happy with me.